Ever since we were approved by immigration a couple of weeks ago I have been trying to get everything together for our dossier. We have had to update our physicals and a lot of other papers that have been prepared....but expired because we have been waiting so long! As I have been finishing up our dossier this adoption is finally feeling "real". It truly feels like when you find out you're pregnant. Doing all of this paperwork is what it was like when Kelly and I would talk about having kids and just preparing ourselves for when it did happen and now that our dossier is about to be sent to Ethiopia it feels like when you go to see your doctor and they tell you that you're expecting. The next year will feel like it did when Iris or Asa were growing in my tummy...so much anticipation. You picture how they will look, think about what you will name them, imagine how it will feel to hold and kiss them. This is how I feel about our child in Ethiopia right now.
In my heart I knew all along that God had called us to adopt, but I still had my doubts that it was really going to happen. One door after another has been closed to us throughout this entire process, but then God revealed to us even more each time a door was opened that this was definitely what He has called us to do. I never pray for this adoption to "happen"...I have always prayed that God would just continue to make it clear what we were suppose to do...and He has. Even though we still have a long way to go to get our referral(the wait could be up to 15 months), I truly feel that our child is in Ethiopia waiting on us. I get butterflies just thinking about him/her. I try to imagine the first time I will see their face and I just know that it IS going to happen. At times I feel guilty for doubting God, but we all do sometimes. In the end we just get to learn how AWESOME He really is and how amazing his love for us is. I feel so blessed to be able to experience this journey of adoption...good and bad. When I get to put my arms around my child I know every bad memory of the tedious paperwork we had to do will disappear and all the struggling to raise money won't be a thought in my mind...kind of like the way we forget the pain of labor the moment we lay eyes on our baby! It's all so worth it!
